Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Summer is Here... Let the Fun & Games Begin!!!

Hello lovelies! Hope everybody is having a blessed day no matter where you all are! I know, I know--I'm a bad innawebs mommy, but the weather got hawt and I had to hit the doh! I can't wait for the Taste of Chicago to start. Sexy men really do seem to come out of the woodworks, and since I am now officially on my "Get Sexy 4 Summer" kick, I am feeling full Diva mode (I'm sexy, you know it, and yeah you do want me) coming on. It's going to be a good summer :D

So I was busy lurking one of my favorite forums, and I found a topic that pretty much threw me for a loop and had me slightly amused and puzzled at the same time. One of the posters wanted to be taught how to flirt.

Okay, for those of you who don't know, I am a bonified serial flirter. I do it without realizing that I am, and it's gotten me into trouble since I got out of the marriage from hell. Robert (the cute guy I date off and on) has told me that I am the worst serial flirting offender he's ever known, and I can believe him! I flirt without knowing that I'm doing it, because honestly, some of the men I flirt with aren't even my type, but I can't seem to help myself. I'm not a shy girl (shuh... big surprise right?), so when men strike up a conversation with me, I will talk to them and before you know it, I'm doing the cute giggle-tittery laugh, touching his arm and getting him all geeked up to ask me out. *sigh* I wish I knew how to turn it off at times (especially when dude looks like Cleotus Clump from Nutfunk, TN... you know you know what I mean!), but alas, I cannot.

Now don't get it twisted, I enjoy all of the attention from the guys that I like, but when a man wants to act a certified monkey doodle fool because you don't want him is when I have to start handing out tongue lashings like a mofo. You have seen me when people have raised my ire because of this blog, please believe and trust me when I tell you that a sistah is 100 times worse IRL.

Now since I am advocating CW "Stay off the Innawebs" Summer Challenge, I figured that now would be as good a time as any to take advantage of this blog and give "Beautiful Black Woman's Flirt-O-Matic Seminar on Achieving the Level of Flirtatious Vixenella". Try not to break too many hearts with the tools and tips ladies! (Shouts out to the ladies of my fave forum holding it down! Most of these tips are theirs with some words from em thrown in)

1. Ooze confidence out of your pores. I notice that when I have on a new outfit, hairdo, or face (makeup) I walk with an air of confidence. Men literally come out of the sidewalks to try to holler at me. Any other time I walk around like I am on a mission and my face probably (unintentionally) reads "don't talk to me". I notice that men don't holler. If you know you're the shiznit so will the men.

2. Make eye contact. If you see a man you are interested in, gaze at him until he notices that you are looking at him. Smile lightly and hold his gaze for a couple of seconds then look away.

3. Throw out hints while talking to him. While making small talk ask him if he is married/has a girlfriend. If he says yes, tell him she's a lucky woman then move on. If he says no, ask him why not.

In summary: When you see a man you like, there should be NO question as to whether or not you're interested. Your face and body language should make it known. How? Make eye contact, look away quickly, then look back again in mock surprise, eyes wide like, "Daaang, what magnificent thing have I just seen??" When you make eye contact again, smile. If he needs a little more encouragement, look him up and down like you like what you see, meet his eyes, and smile again with a slight nod, almost like you didn't mean to nod. If after alla that he doesn't walk over, then he's not interested. If it's because he's still too shy after all that encouragement, it wouldn't work anyway unless you're into shrinking violets.

Too add: After he comes over, then you can fall into the regular stuff like touching his arm, his knee, lightly brushing against him to get by (NO NOT PUTTIN' YOUR BREASTSTISES ON HIM. LOL!), laughing at his jokes (corny or not), etc. I have found that men love it when you are really interested in who he is rather than what he can do for you. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know what kind of job he has and what kind of money he makes, but for our lesson's sake, leave that convo for your first date.

Now ladies, these tips are in no ways complete, and there's always a chance of you striking out. I always say you have to flirt with at least 10 men before you'll find one who's interested. It's all about the mnumbers. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to find a man who is at least interested in buying you a drank. And ladies, if he asks, please let him, even if he isn't physically your type. I know it's hard, but skinny Biff from Accounting might just end up being your knight in shining armor!

Okay, that's it. Go out and get your flirtations on. We are woman, hear us roar!!!

My favorite summertime video. See ya'll next post!

10 people feel me:

Anonymous said...

Just Curious,

What if you were a girl who likes to flirt and you got some really nasty responses to your flirting?

Nikki_Cola said...

The first day of my new job, I was downstairs drinking coffee at the Caribou and I made eyes and a smile with this totally hot guy. It put a little flower in my heart. But now that the weather is warmer, I'm going to have to start making more eyeballs. ;)

Tracy said...

Girl! Where you been! So glad to see you back, but if you out catchin em, more power to ya!

Email me and I will tell you all about my online escapades!!

Oh yeah, and G got himself in lurrve with some local chocolate!

Have a good summer and happy hunting!!

DiosaNegra1967 said...

tsk, tsk, tsk...shameful on how u been gone....LOL

glad 2 see you back in the swing of thangs....

1st: "Cleotus Clump from Nutfunk, TN.."

you just ain't right...even cleotus need some lovin'...LOL

2nd: why'd ya go and put don diamont up in heah? that man makes me break into a black sweat!

*insert james brown scream here*

lastly: i also have been accused of flirting when i think i'm not! maybe i'm just oblivious, but when i've actually tried to flirt....i felt odd...and a little fake....almost like a fraud...

BeautifulBlkWoman said...

Aphrodite, I take it as a lesson learned and move on. Not every man is going to respond to you like you'd like them to, so just look on the rejection as being one step closer to finding Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now)

diosa: now you know I have to make it funny, so why are you trippin'? Yeah, I need to edit this list a bit and add some explanation. I would defintely tell any woman who's trying this to practice, practice, practice at home until it feels natural. Nothing screams "FAKE" than somebody who's trying too hard.

T: I'm shootin' you and email. Tell G I said congrats!

Felicity said...

I spoke to four men already, when I went out today.

CW said...

Felicity...You must keep us updated...Hope u r having fun!
: )

Anonymous said...

I tried social flirting today for the fist time in a very long time.

It was with a WM doctor who is treating my mother.

Actually he started flirting with me. and then it clicked - I think this guy flirting.

So I relaxed my guard a bit and tried smiling more and pretty soon he was completely off the chain (telling jokes etc) and suggested that I return with my mother for her next visit.

I wonder if this can improve the quality of her medical care? :)

At any rate I am still cautious about doing it again, but I think I may try to see what happens.

Taylor-Sara said...

Aphrodite girl, You BETTER do it again! I'd drag my mom in for a check up every month if I were you. That's a green light in case you don't know. BTW. when you go back, if he's too shy to ask you out at that time. Then tell him where you go on a reg. basis (like a fav. grocery store) and If he's really interested, he'll hunt the place down trying to 'accidentally' run into you. Good luck girl....

Anonymous said...

Thank you Sara for the tips. I feel so silly/giddy/awkward/nervous.

The appointment is coming up soon.